Day 12

Submitted by Zombieman on Fri, 04/10/2020 - 15:04

It has been a while since I loosened my fingers at you. Things here in the lockdown are nearing an end. At least that’s what the politicians say, soon we’ll all be out at the bars, movies and festivals like we were in past years. No vaccine? No worries, it would probably give you autism anyway and none of us wants autism. Will we have herd immunity? No, but herd immunity is for the lessor animals, so go out and cough on everyone. Yes, looking forward to the return of glory days gives me a golden globe of warmth deep in my cockles.

However, that day, close as it is, has not yet arrived. It’s like anticipating Christmas, only less people are dropping dead at Christmas. So how have I been spending my time? Like most Americans I have been honing my cooking skills. It is important to put tasty things into my cake hole and not just eat a bag of chips for every meal, something do with nutrition. I mean like a fish, eating bits of plastic in the ocean, I can fill my belly with salty, crispy potatoes and feel full, but yet die a good many years later from lack of everything except calories. I have...well not ‘mastered’, but let’s say, ‘reach a level of fair competence’ in the art of making pupusas. Never heard of a pupusa? It’s basically a stuffed corn tortilla that originated in El Salvador. Think ‘quesadilla’ only the two tortillas are melded together. And made of corn flour. Yes, my first creations were just messy pieces of corn flour interspaced with bits of meat and melted cheese. It didn’t make them any less appealing (remember, I’m a guy who has eaten a bag of chips for dinner), but there was something about all those YouTube people smiling and stuffing brilliantly crafted pupusas into THEIR cake holes that I just had to achieve. Finally, I did. In fact at least one of them was stunningly brilliant enough to make me want to film my own smug YouTube video and post it. Then I remembered what my face looks like, so I just gobbled it down. I have faith the next batch will be even better.

But man does not live on pupusas alone. What have I done to pass the other 8 hours a day when I’m not eating or sleeping? Like most of you I play Minecraft and have an odd predilection for tinkering. The problem with Minecraft, as many of you know, is that when you stop playing your ‘World’ stops too, waiting all need and tidy for you to return. What if you have a live-in who also plays? What if you want to turn in early to be ready to chase that rabbit fresh and well rested and they are more of a ‘snatch that mouse in the dead of night’ owl sort of person? The world ends for them too and they must go on to other endeavors. And if they don’t start early enough, then you are there waiting for hours for them to fire up their device so the world can come alive. It’s a pickle. One which has solutions; the easiest being to pay for a server to host the world so it is always online.

“Pay?!” You say.

Yes, a monthly fee typically.

“Why would I pay? I’ve already bought the game!”

Okay boomer; I said ‘easiest’ not cheapest. I too, enjoy NOT having monthly fees come out of my barren checking account each month, so what other options are there? And this is how I’ve been spending my time. Not cooking, not preparing food, not doing calisthenics to prepare myself for running from the mobs of wild people that will soon be roving the countryside looking for pupusa makings. No, I’ve been gathering materials and setting up Minecraft servers. All, until last night, without success. I wanted to run it on a Raspberry Pi and I wanted to run the Bedrock version. Done and done. Oh, and I managed to erase the OS of my mp3 player in the process. (DO NOT ASK) Now I need to find my backup mp3 player so I might enjoy tunes while I walk the perimeter.