My father was a complicated man. Looking in from the outside he may have seemed pretty easy to get a read on, he was forthright, stubborn, and always had the time to have a good conversation when interesting people came into his circle. Still, he was also a very introverted loner and if there were loads of people somewhere, odds are my father wasn’t there at all. From the ‘was’ parts of those sentences you can surmise that he has passed on. It was today, in fact, June 12^th, 2026 at 10:08 GMT -7 (Mountain Time for you US residents) that he died. I drove up to the mountain town where he lived to help my mother deal with things and, if you’ve lost a loved one you know how very little there is to do at this point. The good news is, my father passed away quickly, in his own home and with little fan fare. If he had to go, this is about the best he could possibly do. Up until the end he was telling my mother not to call an ambulance, which is so typical that it makes me smile just a bit. A sad smile to be sure. Dads are going to ‘dad’ to the bitter end, no?

None of us are without our foibles, he had his share. I inherited many of mine from him, I would say my parents account for 40% of my personality and the rest, due to my long life, I acquired on my own. I live two and a half hours away from my parents, close, but not ‘too close’ I always thought. It still hits the right spot for me as some distance from our past is always appreciated. I had plenty of time to think about things on my way up here, at the time, I didn’t know he had passed, so my mind was running in circles about what to do, what to do, what. To. Do. Turns out nothing. Just being present is all I can do.

Animals are a peculiar lot, aren’t they? My father’s dog is lying around so very inconsolable. I believe in science and nothing has ever been established as fact about animals mourning for us or them even knowing we die. Buuuuttt, I feel that they know that their friend-beast isn’t coming home anymore. I have read on dog forums that when you have two animals and one passes, the best outcome involves letting the living one sniff the one who is gone, that this cements it in their brains that their buddy has died. I know my father’s dog had that opportunity today while waiting for the coroner to arrive. This is just a theory and probably one we will never prove.

So what now? How do you go on when your parent has died? I’m still processing it and no doubt I will grow to tolerate my grief as the days pass. I started out in a low place today and things have been trending downward. I definitely hope for some sort of light at the end of this tunnel I am in that isn’t an oncoming train.

If they are still around call or hug your parents, you may not get another chance.